Rebecca

buddharidesshotgun@gmail.com — Thu, 14 Dec 2006 20:47:54 GMT

As of 2:38 this afternoon, I am officially done with my first semester of freshman year.
What the fuck.

buddharidesshotgun@gmail.com — Fri, 08 Dec 2006 08:53:03 GMT

I am seventeen. That's it and it's not. I fuck around with it but it's still there it's still right. It's more deeply rooted than I ever think. How can I get older get past this. I can't.

buddharidesshotgun@gmail.com — Sat, 30 Sep 2006 07:33:32 GMT

Oh fuck.
So. At present, I'm afraid to go out of my room. Because. Shit. Uh. That was such a bad idea. If my student fellow group is not a bunch of rocks, I'm in serious shit. But they're laughing, so maybe not. Should I venture out? I don't know. I need to have a purpose. Like, I'll go to the bathroom. Yeah.
Fuck.

buddharidesshotgun@gmail.com — Mon, 28 Aug 2006 04:24:28 GMT

I'm at Vassar.
Our room is tiny, but with our beds lofted my roommate Mariko and I can breathe well. Don't know how sleeping so high will turn out. It's awfully close to the ceiling. Whatever. It'll be great. It's Vassar.
My draw number is 553 out of 680 (Mariko's is 31), but my advisor is in the Anthropology dept, so I should be able to talk myself into Cultural Anthropology, and I've got the drive to really dig for Religions of Asia. English I can take or leave, and if I don't get into calculus I'll talk to Mr. Feroe. And I'm at Vassar, man. Isn't that awesome? It just feels so great. My roommate and I get along real well, Josh brought me a handle each of vodka and rum, so I've got some good times in the near future. My hair's a fucking afro from the rain, but I'm at Vassar. I have a key and a V-card and my Harvey poster and an awesome makeshift cardboard box hutch for my printer, and tomorrow I'll still have all those things. And more. So much more.
There's no way this can't be cool.

buddharidesshotgun@gmail.com — Sun, 20 Aug 2006 04:59:52 GMT

I got excited about turning 17 last night. Something about getting shot with lasers (because I suck at laser tag) and realizing that I'll be seing some people for the last time in quite a while, really makes me not care that I'll be young as fuck. Because I'll be so young, and what gets me there is fantastic. And hey, 17 is pretty great. I mean, I've never been 17 before, it should be a good time. I'll be older, I'll be able to consent and see R-rated movies, and I'll get as old as I think I want eventually. And I'm going to Vassar in one small week. One small, little week, man. Mmmmmm.
Timing has really sucked for me lately, though. Ugh.
But I got a new toy! Yeah, it's green.

buddharidesshotgun@gmail.com — Fri, 11 Aug 2006 03:00:18 GMT

UGH. Rain, man. What a downer.
I'm awfully disappointed.

buddharidesshotgun@gmail.com — Tue, 25 Jul 2006 02:39:42 GMT

Jewett 338!
I'm so stoked. I get the new bathrooms.

buddharidesshotgun@gmail.com — Sat, 15 Jul 2006 18:47:03 GMT

Bwahaha.
The College Board has confirmed that I royally suck at physics. Mmhmm. 2, man. And I'm pretty sure they don't give out 1's. But hey. I'm going to Vassar. In 43 days. The AP Physics exam is not. So who's the winner, here. Come on.
I'll get credit for English and US, though, which is cool.

buddharidesshotgun@gmail.com — Fri, 30 Jun 2006 20:24:34 GMT

So, apparently, every year Vassar has an author come lecture as part of the Freshman Course. This year, the lecturer is Salman Rushdie.
Yeah.
Salman Rushdie.
Mmmm, Vassar.
I got the Freshman handbook and pre-registration stuff in the mail today. And stuff about the BSC, Bandana peolple, my pre-major advisor. I get an advisor. Ahh it's so real.
58 days, man. 58.

buddharidesshotgun@gmail.com — Tue, 20 Jun 2006 03:05:17 GMT

So.
I've found a new conundrum to get all worked up about, create wildly improbable schemes over, and generally use up time by forcing frenzied thought.
Vassar schedueling. Mmhmm. Specifically, single-variable calculus. The short-version is that in order to not have to take Elem. French at 9am EVERY MORNING FOR MY ENTIRE FRESHMAN YEAR, I need to magically be able to take Topics in single-variable calculus, not plain-old single-variable. Of course, Topics is for people with prior experience with calculus. Meaning, people who took AP calc in high school, and didn't do so hot. So, I thought, hey, I'm not doing much this summer except supposed to be working at a job I don't have, so why don't I find an online calc course (because a) if/when I do actually get a job, I'd have to schedule hours around a class at a university and, b) I'd have no/have to be worked out transportation to and from the class. Well, I'd have that same trouble with the job, what with my sucky driving skills, lack of license/car and all. But, whatever. ) to take over the summer, and get this exposure to calculus?
Meh. At least the process-part will use up Becca-shmoozing-watching bad television-time, regardless of the end result. Hell, if it actually works I'd have something to do over the summer, so I'm not a complete vegetable by August 27th.
In other news, 3 days til graduation, 68 til Vassar. 6-8! Man.

buddharidesshotgun@gmail.com — Sat, 03 Jun 2006 05:01:37 GMT

19 days til graduation, 84 til Vassar.
Yeah, that pretty much sums it up.
Senior banquet was tonight. It was great, actually. A little awkward at first, what with the being on a boat, mozerella sticks and all. But then it got better. There were fireworks, which was cool. Pretty fantastic night, all in all. And oh gosh. I wore a pretty dress from H&M. It's nice to wear pretty dresses. Well, one at a time. Gets a little bulky, otherwise.
Aarghm, I have to do an entire, humungoid AP Physics project on AP Physics that I don't know. For Monday.
Ugh I should really go to sleep. I'm not quite sure why I wrote this.

buddharidesshotgun@gmail.com — Sat, 06 May 2006 03:17:07 GMT

Holy crap. I almost forgot the disclaimer at the beginning of the APUS exam. On the page facing the first questions, on top of some weird don't-read-me-from-the-cover pattern, was this bit about how the College Board doesn't endorse the content of the exam, they just have some panel who picks questions reflecting the curriculum. Seemed too, cautious. I'd kinda thought we'd gotten through that.

buddharidesshotgun@gmail.com — Sat, 06 May 2006 01:50:36 GMT

Despite it's disappointments, APs and general lack of anything besides a dress for prom, this week was actually pretty fantastic.
NYSSMA Majors was Monday. We got gold. Our 14th gold, but the break of the 5 or 6 year gold with distinction streak. Tocatta did us in. Matt overheard the adjudicators saying just that- -up until Tocatta we had it. King Cotton was solid. Fanfare and Allegro was the best we've ever played it, easily. But Tocatta, man. It just wasn't together at all. Ugh. Hopefully we can pull it together some before Virginia, but it probably won't be enough to win. Our competition is only one other band, but they're from California. You don't come to an eastcoast music competition from California if you suck. Even if you're mediocre. That's the weird thing about the festival this year. It's mostly choral. There are no other orchestras, no other jazz bands, just choirs. Uch. Now we'll have to listen to a lot of flat altos, shrill sopranos and nonexistent male voices, instead of mediocre bands or jazz bands. It almost seems hardly worth the bother, except for the day at Bush Gardens. That's what everyone is looking forward to.
I stayed home Tuesday. Wasn't feeling fantastic. That meant that I went to AP physics and econ once, and pre-calc and German none at all this week. And I gotta say, it felt nice.
Sooo. APs. They actually weren't atrocious, or anything. English was, meh. The multiple choice were killer. There was this one awfully goofy question, something along the lines of 'which of the following words rhymes with the sound the cue-owl mentioned in line 4987675768 might make?' Yeah, goofy. And I didn't do well on the essays. The first was my best- -some hawk poem, actually pretty nice. The second, the passage, was so disappointing. It was some generic, lord-lady-duchess "let's talk about the roles of men and women as if it's exciting and foreign and taboo." And it was Wilde, too. But they picked such a crappy passage. You couldn't do anything with it, and I was really looking forward to doing a lot with it. And I mean a lot. Putting words and letters in boxes and feeling like John Nash. It's so cool, but I couldn't do it. Dinky passage. And the final essay was severe crap. The closing sentence was, "This is still pretty bad, but I'm still going to college."
APUS was pretty good. The multiple choice were much more doable than that of the English, but the DBQ was the most awkward and uncharacteristically phrased question I have ever seen. There was no clear, defined numerical time period, just some indicating words. And it was fluffy. Women and republican motherhood and cult of domesticity and crap. But but but I worked in the establishment of Vassar College in 1861, the same year civil war broke out. It was definitely the best piece of outside information I've used in a DBQ. Ever. And then the two thematics. The first was a choice between comparing the Spanish and British colonies in the Americas (which absolutely no one chose) and discussing how the role of the federal government changed during the Civil War. I did the latter, and had to discuss two of the following: race relations, econoic development and/or westward expansion. I pulled off the first, but drew a complete and total blank on the last two. I made up some junk about westward expansion, then went on a tangent about some funk lyrics. Then I crossed it out, because I actually felt pretty good about my other writing, and thought that a bad essay would score better than a bad essay with funk lyrics. Mrs. Ferris aside, I don't think most of the APUS graders have much of a sense of humor. But the second thematic was solid. The question dealt with rebelling (which they referred to as 'critiquing') against the conformity of 1950s America, by discussing two: youths, civil rights activists and intellectuals. So I talked about rock and roll, chicken and tight pants for youths, then the Beat generation, Ginsberg's obscenity trial and such for intellectuals. I practically used word for word what I wrote in my 'American Artifacts Are Awesome' project. I was definitely riding a wave of luck on the APUS exam.
I have nothing figured out for prom. My dress is beautiful, as are my shoes, but they don't match. I don't have a date, I don't have a ticket, I don't have a table. I don't really want to figure any of it out. It's too late to ask anyone, not like I'd actually have the courage to do so. But my dress is so ridiculously pretty. I just want to wear it and look pretty for a little while. Not really infront of all the people from my school, because, frankly, I've stopped trying to look cool/good/likethey'dwanttobefriendswithme infront of them. I'm going to Vassar awfully soon. They aren't. And that's fine. It just sucks going through another month and a half of this. It's draining.

buddharidesshotgun@gmail.com — Thu, 27 Apr 2006 03:14:05 GMT

I definitely almost died when the Katrina character told Milo Ventimiglia's character that he "will make some Vassar girl very happy someday." cdsoiljkesduijkf.
Yes, I watch The Bedford Diaries just to see Milo Ventimiglia. The show itself is pretty awful.
Despite the fact that I got a 77 in AP Physics (lowest average ever), I swung a 93.78 overall. I am rockin senioritis.
The Vassar Open House was great, though unnecessarily rainy. It feels different. I don't feel like I'm sneaking in, like it isn't mine. It's mine this time. And it feels phenomenal.
NYSSMA Majors is Monday. Toccatta Marziale is, we'll see. Yeah, that bad.

POSSIBLE COURSE SCHEDULE FOR VASSAR COLLEGE FALL 2006!

buddharidesshotgun@gmail.com — Fri, 21 Apr 2006 22:47:50 GMT

And by 'possible' I mean I've just been looking over the class schedule/course catalogue since they've been up and shmoozing/hypothesizing over what I'll take. I have little idea if it is feasible/realistic. And stuff. Lots of slashes. But anyway.

121a/122b. Single Variable Calculus (1)

The calculus of one variable and applications are discussed. Topics include: limits, continuity, derivatives, applications of derivatives, transcendental functions, the definite integral, applications of definite integrals, approximation methods, differential equations, sequences, and series. The department. 10-10:50am or 11-11:50am MWF.

110a. Early Chinese Philosophy (1)

An introduction to Chinese philosophy in the period between (roughly) 500 and 221 b.c., covering Confucians, Taoists and others. Among the topics discussed by these philosophers are human nature, methods of ethical education and self-cultivation, virtues and vices, and the role of conventions and institutions in human life. Mr. Van Norden. 9-10:15am TR.

150a or b. Linguistics and Anthropology (1)

This course provides the student with a practical introduction to structuralist methods of linguistic analysis. There is a focus on both theoretical discussions about, and practical exercises in, the phonology, morphology, syntax, and semantics of natural human languages. Additional topics include: the acquisition of linguistic and communicative competence; the relationship between human language and other animal communication systems; and cultural and social dimensions of language variation (including the study of regional and social dialects, code switching and mixing, speaking styles, registers, and idiolects). The course is intended both as the College’s general introduction to formal linguistics and as a foundation for more advanced courses in related areas. Mr. Tavárez. 3:10-4:25pm TR.

Aaaaand a freshman English course. To be determined. Because the course descriptions come in the Freshman Handbook, and I do not have the Freshman Handbook.

Mmm, college.

Open House Sunday!

I'm going to college.

buddharidesshotgun@gmail.com — Sat, 04 Feb 2006 17:49:53 GMT

Vassar class of 2010.

Riddle me this...

buddharidesshotgun@gmail.com — Thu, 26 Jan 2006 21:31:54 GMT

SUNY Geneseo and UBuffalo Admissions need some new management.
What's the rationale in sending out SUNY general applications to applicants after the general application has been recieved by SUNY Admissions? Furthermore, why send it out after the formal deadline, especially when it states in the cover letter that the application deadline is January 15? And why is the UB supplement in a fucking knothole of the online application, with no mention of it anywhere else on the website or in the extra SUNY general application from UB?
Fucking excess.

buddharidesshotgun@gmail.com — Tue, 10 Jan 2006 01:37:56 GMT

It smelled like woodsmoke this morning. I couldn't appreciate it because of the wall(s) of mucas in my nose. I love the smell of woodsmoke.
Rome was nice. Loud firecrackers in trash cans. Metro that shuts down at 9PM. A loss of respect for CNN because CNNWorld (the only English channel we got) ran exactly five stories a day, one of which was always the terrible weather in Europe. And there was some weird, loud, burst-y British newscaster. Pretty ruins.Tasty pizza and lasagna (oh, I dropped the vegetarian thing. Through evaluation I realized that I had only adopted it because I was tired of eating chicken marinated in salad dressing. And the SIG food at that time sucked [remember the awful catering days? One particular dinner sticks out in my mind- -SIG was trying to do Chinese, and one girl came out as we were going in, saying, "I came, I saw, I got ice cream."]. Now I'm tired of eating pasta and sauce. Eating animal reopens new doors, more variety, more possibility that I can make dinner and the rest of my family [parents, mostly] will eat it and not deem it necessary to supplement it with some enormous amount of meat that will last the better part of a week. And make me feel special. Maybe even useful, purposeful. It'd be nice.). And I could walk most places, supplemented with the Metro. I liked being able to just walk everywhere, not have to be confined by my lack of driving experience/license. Makes me wonder that I might actually enjoy living in a city, as opposed to a small town. I suppose I just figured I would want to be in a small town for college and such. Now I wonder why. But I know. Maybe a city is the right place for me for the next portion of my life. I'd like/I need opportunity. Opportunity that I can grasp readily. Something beyond food chains and high school. Is a college in a city more likely to have that than a college in a small town? Or does the location even matter. Maybe it's just college I'm craving. Maybe the location is just a red herring.
But I do like being able to walk places. And gelato is ridiculously good.
I've been drinking water, because I feel bad for my body only getting tasty Mountain Dew and the occasional glass of milk.
Two more applications to do. NYU and Haverford.
I'm getting pretty used to wearing my hair down.
Watched most of "Firefly" this weekend. Beat doing work. Still don't like the fake cowboy-speak.
I made macaroni and cheese tonight. It was tasty.
I should probably stop with the short lines. Bye.

New Focus.

buddharidesshotgun@gmail.com — Thu, 15 Dec 2005 22:22:38 GMT

Vassar C.
Brandeis U.
Boston C.
NYU.
Haverford C.
Bowdoin C. (?)
Colgate U. (?)

Is it silly that I'm now selecting colleges to apply to based on whether or not they have a major/minor that I know nothing about but think might have something to do with what I spent last advanced comp fiddling around with?
I thought not.

buddharidesshotgun@gmail.com — Wed, 14 Dec 2005 21:23:56 GMT

No Swarthmore for Becca.

buddharidesshotgun@gmail.com — Wed, 14 Dec 2005 04:34:27 GMT

Dear German project,
Stop being such an ass.
We actually did you, so return the favor. Write yourself to a CD in some readable/usable program, without splicing the beginning with scenes from the end of the tape.
That'd be cool, thanks.
Love, Becca

Good Night, And Good Luck.

buddharidesshotgun@gmail.com — Sun, 20 Nov 2005 05:14:23 GMT

I saw Roy Cohn.
Like, actually saw video of him. Not some mention in a history text or a character/charicature played by Al Pacino. It was weird.
In other news, Nathan's jazz battle was fucking amazing. He definitely won.

buddharidesshotgun@gmail.com — Mon, 14 Nov 2005 21:33:22 GMT

My Swarthmore application is done. Signed, sealed, delivered, I'm yours.
I saw 'Sweeney Todd' in NYC this weekend. Patty Lipone's voice is, not what it used to be. The staging was, weird. The characters were the orchestra. Hence, the vocal performances were compromised. Lipone 'played' the tuba, a whole two notes. It was only for gag purposes. The story had a few little holes. It got a bit predictable towards the end; the accordian player (yes, a woman in drag was playing the accordian) brought out a white coat stained with blood before someone died. Ate some tasty Thai food afterwards.
I wrote about PIG and its inadequacies for my college essay. Weird, but it might work.
My grandmother met Katharine Hepburn in the early 40s. She fucking met Katharine Hepburn. !
I've been listening to Nina Simone's 'Misunderstood' a lot latetly. I'm really digging it.
I'm going to fucking Italy.

buddharidesshotgun@gmail.com — Thu, 27 Oct 2005 19:22:55 GMT

Pff.

The link my background picture was from died. And I don't have the patience to search for a new background picture.

Bother.

buddharidesshotgun@gmail.com — Thu, 27 Oct 2005 03:08:15 GMT

Last night I wrote something for advanced comp that I actually felt. I had forgotten what it felt like, to write something real and meaningful. I felt solid. I feel solid.

Today was something I haven't had in a while. Fidgetting, tapping and grooving to music inside me, being restless. I've been stagnant. For a while. I'm back to restless. It feels nice.

I definitely suck at dodgeball, but I think some boy was looking at me. Which would be cool. I need something to do.

There's a lunar eclipse tomorrow. If the sky is overcast because Bush didn't sign and implement the Kyoto Protocol so global warming is taking its karmic revenge with hurricanes so we get after-effects of rain and uck I am going to write him a nasty letter. It'll be long and vicious and educated.

That's it.